Tag Archive for see my way

14 Apr 2025
Blind Blog • Training & Fitness

Who needs a comfort zone anyway?

Its been a while.

2024 threw me some pretty horrid curve balls, I was exhausted; emotionally, mentally and physically.  And I allowed myself to get lost among it all.

2025 has been about making peace with the demons, coping with the new way of doing things and finding passion in life again.

It all started with a message in a Facebook forum group little over six weeks ago, I asked for a pilot.  Not the ‘fly me to an exotic island kind’ but rather someone who would take the lead and pilot my tandem so I could start getting back to the things I love.

A few people reached out, one is just a few miles away.  Another has recently started training to be a pilot and again is within a few miles.  Then there was John, he organises social rides for groups of visually impaired people, matching them with pilots on a social ride once a month.

And it was one of these social rides that I found myself at yesterday.

This option wasn’t as local, but as I didn’t need to take my own tandem; with the help of a friend giving me a lift I joined the fun … or madness.

An early start to get to Reading for 9am on a Sunday, where I joined 4 other visually impaired riders, their pilots and several support riders for a 26 mile ride that saw us travel through Cavisham and Henley-on-Thames with some pretty good audio description from my pilot.

Realising the last time I rode anything more than ‘around the block’ was in 2022 and that was only 5 miles – so this ride threw me completely out of my comfort zone.

But I absolutely loved it.

We stopped at around 13 miles for a coffee and much required flapjack sugar fix, as the ride involved many hills and some poorly maintained roads with uncomfortable pot holes.

My pilot was brilliant, he explained all the terms to me, he warned me of cars approaching in front, cars from behind and even dogs and horses. 

He also pointed out the boats on the river, the big posh houses and the flowers in the hedgerows as we went past them.

It took about 20 minutes to get into a rhythm with him; but by the end of the ride we were pretty clued into each other.

It’s a common misconception that the stoker on the back of the bike just sits and pedals a bit.  There were actually times when I needed to put more force in to get us going on a hill start as they need a good rear push.

Yes; the pilot takes control of the gears and such, but it is a team effort; which going by the aching thighs and saddle sore I’m feeling today I feel the description of a gentle social ride was a little economical with the truth.

But incase you haven’t realised by now.  I loved it, I can’t wait to go again, sadly work commitments means that’s not for a few months.

But it was an amazing adventure and one that I am not going to put off any longer.

Thankfully my leg strength hasn’t completley diminished in the last year of inactivity.

And I have found a new passion.

Now to buy some good quality padded cycling shorts!

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10 Jul 2024
Blind Blog

What a Year.

Those who have been round for a while will realise that I have been rather quiet of late.

If truth be told; it’s been over a year!

But, that’s all about to change.

You may get sick of me in the next few months, but lots to update. Many posts will be backdated to when the drafts were penned.

Hope you enjoy

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05 Jun 2023
Blind Blog

Short & Sweet – The First Day

We arrived safely at the hotel, checking into our room and are just about to meet the other guide dog owners, their dogs and the trainers who will be getting us through this.

Through the power of Facebook, I already know one of the other guide dog owners and as the same trainer has all three dogs that are on class, the dogs have already spotted each other and gone into play mode!

Ben is the palest of the three Golden, in-fact if we line them up right it looks like the colour started to run out by the time it got to Ben.  All three dogs are boys and the other two are actually litter-mates but having trained together with the GDMS (Guide Dog Mobility Specialist) they are all best of friends.

As I said in my previous post, I have never done this type of training before.  Which is making me feel a little anxious, but I am also excited.  I have already fallen head over heels in love with Ben, he has a quirky goofy side that comes out every so often.  And being only eighteen months he is the baby of the group, just another thing I have never had before in a guide dog.  As both the girls were past maturity when they came to me; I am learning even more about dogs than ever before.

Today is about settling in, finding our way around the hotel and getting an idea of how our days are going to play out.  We are in a beautiful hotel in Blandford, guide dogs have held classes here before, but we are only the second since Covid and the staff are so helpful.

Now for the work to begin …

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04 Jun 2023
Blind Blog

Time to go on Class

Despite Ben being my third guide dog, he is introducing me to new experiences before we have even become a partnership.  He is the first guide dog that I have attended a class training with:

My first guide dog Vicky worked before coming to me; her previous partnership ended when the person she was guiding died.  So, aged 4 she was matched with me.  A match that meant we would train from home.  Otherwise known as domiciliary.  Which given that I discovered in the first week of training together that I was pregnant with my son and not just super nervous was perfect.

Then my second guide dog Fizz had also previously worked with another partnership, that saw her come back to Guide Dogs and be offered to me when she was 3 and a half years old.  So again, we trained together from home.  Which with two children to get to school and nursery again worked out perfectly for me.

Domiciliary training has its benefits, such as enabling the partnership to learn local straight off, enabling home life to be disrupted as little as possible as all training is done within ‘school hours’ as such. 

Yet, it also has its downfalls.  It doesn’t give the new guide dog owner the opportunity to completely close off to home life, meet other guide dog owners or undertake group training sessions.

Although, having never known any differently I am not sure how I am feeling about finally getting my class experience.

On paper it sounds amazing! Monday to Friday for two weeks at a hotel, all meals catered for, two weeks of not having to cope with ‘home life as well as training. 

But … There is a little part of me that is nervous. I am going on to a training class in a small village that I have never been to before!  Unlike my ‘home neighbourhood’ which I know very well.  I am going to be like a fish out of water, surely if I don’t know where a I am going, I am not going to be able to direct Ben correctly?

My kids are older now, they live between me and their dads’ so are fully able to understand where I am going and why I am doing it; so thankfully that’s something I don’t need to worry about.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss them.

Maybe it’s also that it’s been nineteen months since Fizz retired?

Maybe it’s also that guide dogs now use a different training method, with different concerns that I’m feeling anxious?

I have been advised that a Ben is a very smart dog; but what if I’m not good enough for him?

Anyway, it’s a bit late for that now … Our bags are packed, although u feel I am forgetting something.  Ben’s food is all measured out and the volunteer driver will be here in the morning to pick us up.

I’m sure it will be okay; won’t it?

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25 May 2023
Blind Blog

A New Chapter… Welcoming an addition to my family

Close up photo of a golden retrievers head with light brown nose almost booping the camera

Nobody knew that when Fizz retired in November 2021 that I would be without a guide dog for so long. However, at the end of April I got to meet a very handsome young man.

He is a full golden retriever and all being well, he will be my third guide dog.

His name is Ben and he was not even born when Fizz retired. He is a very clever pup and as such is only just 18 months old.

We are off on class in early June.

Watch space this for many ‘snap shot blogs’ of our training and new chapter together.

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05 Feb 2023
Blind Blog

Splashing in puddles

There are very few instances where I would say my long cane is better than my living, breathing, thinking guide dog; however puddles would most certainly be on the list.

Why you may be asking? Well, it comes down to feedback.

Despite being a Labrador-Retriever Cross, my guide dog Fizz DID NOT like walking in puddles when she is in harness. Which you may think is brilliant for me, however that isn’t the case; as she has no issue with walking me through the puddle as long as she can keep her own paws dry.

So generally the first I know there is a puddle is when I find myself walking in it. The only time I get a heads up that it may be there is because Fizz will walk be either to the left or right of the path so she doesn’t have to walk in it.

This is where a cane is very different. And it can actually give me additional information too on how deep the puddle may be, or how much of the path it covers.

How? I hear you ask….

As a long cane works by sweeping the ground before you, roughly by one and a half steps ahead of me based on the sweeping motion, it can give not just feedback on the objects that may be in the in my path, but the texture and changes of the ground itself.

And when that comes to water, the sound and feel of the sweep is altered.

A shallow covering of water gives very little resistances; yet a deep puddle is like moving a spoon through thick custard.

And as I sweep wirh my cane around a puddle the sound also helps to give feedback on the depth; so that I can try and walk through the shallower parts or even avoid the puddle all together.

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22 Jul 2022
About Me • Blind Blog

Ooh I’m a cartoon

After filming with guide dogs about my eye condition project in 2021; which sadly didn’t go anywhere as such.

I was invited to help them further with this and become a cartoon.

The above video is the final edit and published on Guide Dogs Uk.

And here is the accessible audio described version for my readers who are visually impaired.

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25 May 2022
Blind Blog • Days Out

When you realise you know a little too much geek about crossings

Recently Open Sight hosted an afternoon tea in my town. This saw many people visiting from outside the area. I was asked to help give directions for those coming in on both the train and the bus; because they are at opposite ends of town in relation to the venue.

Fareham has a funny one-way system that was put in place to elongate the traffic entering the town.

It was when explaining this to the visitors that I realise I know a little too much about light controlled crossings, which I just assumed was ‘common knowledge’ to all.

So, thought it was time I shared some of my geeky knowledge with the rest of you

Firstly, many people assume that the button controls for pedestrian lights are always on the right hand side; that’s not actually the case. The button control is always on the side of the oncoming traffic; it is just that on an ordinary road this places it on the right hand side. However, when you are on a one-way street the button control may well be on the left to indicate the direction of traffic.

In Hampshire (thanks to Hampshire highways only using Siemens traffic lights) all button controlled lights also have a cone under the yellow box; this cone spins when the green man comes on to indicate it is safe for visually impaired and blind people to cross.

Not all button controlled traffic lights have a beep; this isn’t because the sound is broken rather it is another tactic to support those who are visually impaired or even hard of hearing. If there are multiple sets of button controlled lights close to each other then the sound will be removed from them all. Especially if different lights run on different sequences. This is to make it safer for pedestrians; to save someone stepping out in front of moving traffic because they mishear the beep from a near by button controlled crossing.

So, here it is just some of the more interesting parts of my ‘geek knowledge’ when it comes to traffic lights and pedestrian crossings.

And don’t even ask me to start to explain the different types and styles of tactile paving !!!

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05 May 2022
Blind Blog

Waving Away!

I thought as it’s been a while; so I felt compelled to share my latest ‘blind fail’ with you all … It’s a good one!

Despite not having my guide dog I have pushed myself each day to enjoy at least one long walk. Some days this is in the countryside or along the beach, but more often than not it’s around my local area.

On this particular walk I was walking on a road I know very well. I was approaching the junction of a side road and preparing to cross.

As I approached the junction I heard a car engine to my left.

The sun was bright, but I could make out a bright blue car on the left directly opposite the junction, so assumed it was also the engine I could hear:

As a guide dog owner, old habits die hard and I waved the car on: this is partly because the sound of the engine could be masking the sound of other approaching traffic or even bicycles.

I waved the car on … Nothing.

I waved it on again … Still nothing.

At this point a man appeared to be speaking to me from the other side of the road.

“Wait there I am coming to you.”

He crossed over and stood beside me, he asked me what help I needed and I explained I was simply waiting for this car to move on and then I would cross:

It was at this point (with a smile on his voice) he explained that there was no car waiting to turn.

The blue car was actually parked and had nobody inside it.

The car engine I could hear was on a driveway, the car had its doors and bonnet open, so was not moving anytime soon.

So it was safe for me to cross.  And it had been for some time!

The kind man explained he was loading a van up the street and had seen me waving my arm; but he couldn’t get to me any sooner as his arms had been full.

I laughed when he explained it all, because it’s moments like this that if I didn’t laugh I could easily cry.

I made my apologies and rushed off as quickly as I could without breaking into an actual run!

When relaying this embarrassing story to a sighted friend they helpfully pointed out…

Rule 243 of the Highway Code states you must not park opposite or within 10 metres (32 feet) of a junction, except in an authorised parking space.”

This didn’t make me feel any less embarrassed,  however one bonus to tthis sight loss journey is that I would never recognise the kind man who came to my aid, if I saw him again. So that’s a small mercy, right?

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15 Apr 2022
Blind Blog

Pain of a Cane

It’s been six months now since the whirlwind that was my second guide dog Fizz retired. She is living her best life, enjoying her retirement and even living with another black lab who is also retired; but much younger than her called Ashby. So you could even say she has found herself a toy boy!

I have been missing her terribly in all honesty.

Not just as my guide dog, but as my companion.

The house seems too quiet when the kids aren’t home.

However a friends suggestion of a weighted blanket on my bed has certainly helped. Especially because in the last few years I had allowed Fizz to slip into the habit of sleeping on my bed. The extra weight on the covers really does help.

I could have used the excuse of reverting back to ‘Candy’ (my cane has red stripes to symbolise that I am deaf blind, thus picking up the nick-name candy the cane) as a way to shut off the outside world and limit (or restrict) my independence. Especially over the winter months when the darkness was greater.

But I didn’t …

I set myself the challenge of walking each day, some days this has been the 4 mile round trip to grab a coffee from Nero. (Other coffee houses are available)

When I am on a route I know well and is fairly quiet; like the route to town. I can feel quite free, quite confident and faster in my walking pace.

However, as I approach the shops, the busier areas and the unpredictability of people I can feel quite weak. I liken it to feeling like a small child. And I get even smaller when I come across the unexpected; such as building works, market stalls or additional outside seating for cafes etc.

However, I am stubborn. I refuse to let this weaken me. I just wished that my cane had sort of robotic system in it that I could say “let’s go to the bank” and it would navigate me there avoiding all the obstacles?

Oh wait … That’s a guide dog!

What I really REALLY really need is for “That Call” to say a possible match has been found.

I am (one of) the highest priories on the Guide Dog waiting list. However, as I have explained before. They look to match the personality and lifestyle of the person to the personality and workability of the dog. Along with looking at other things such as walking speed, the persons height and workload for the dog. Which all means that there may still be some time to wait for a dog that matches my needs.

So, for now it’s back ti my love-hate relationship with Candy and asking friends for a little more support.

And trying not to cause any more bruises from the regular stomach jabs or arm jars in the process.

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