Tag Archive for Feelings

03 Jun 2013
Blind Blog • Days Out

Fun Fairs

Lots of blogs this week, but I get to break from the usual boring home, study routine when my two children are home.  As I said before, I won’t let me being a VIP affect them or the fun they get to have.

So, on Sunday as a birthday treat we went to the fun fair at Hayling Island, I have never been there before, but friends had raved about it & how much fun the kids could have (big & small!)

They weren’t wrong.

With a 3 and 7 year old it is often difficult to find the balance on somewhere they can both have fun and do things together or with me.  Of-course my faithful GD came along too although she didn’t partake in much of the fun, just the run along the beach afterwards.

For me, I got to drive! only on the bumper cars, but didn’t I make the most of it, first with my son, then with my daughter and then they had their own car and I got to go alone.

 

We went on the halter skelter, the log flume, the balloon ride, even the rickettly old roller-coaster (I didn’t want to ask if it was part of its design or age that made it that way)

I know many people do these sorts of rides with their eyes closed, so most can guess what that feels like, but how about if your eyes were a blurry haze?

It makes things seem there that aren’t, it makes it feel that you will hit your head or that the cart your in will come off of the rails.

Also with no depth perception I have no ability to judge the hieght of a climb or the steepness of a drop….. But for me that adds to the excitement.

So to say that I had just as much if not more fun as the kids would be an understatement …….. We loved it!

The weather was just right and like all good funfairs I got to enjoy an old family tradition of having my bucket of pennies and playing on the slot machines too, dropping the coin at just the right time to not fall on top of the pile, put to push some of the coins down into the winning bit.

Who says sight loss has to make you miss things, it just makes it a different experience, but having never had brilliant sight I can’t say is it were a better or worse experience, my children had a fabulous time and that was the whole point of the day.

Me getting to join in so much was an added bonus!

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31 May 2013
Blind Blog • Days Out

What’s in a saying?

We all have little ways of saying things, little phrases that we all use every day, without thinking.

The most common of these are:-

” Have you seen this?”

“Look at this.”

“did you see that?”

my response to aloof these is no, but I have never, nor will I ever take offence to them.  I myself usually end a conversation with ” See you again soon,”

They are common sayings and I even do it, if I’ve been to a film having listened to the audio description, I still say ” I saw that…….film the other night, have you seen it?”

I also say that I’ve read a great book book lately, even though I listen to it.  “I’ve just listened to a great film/book” just doesn’t have the same ring to it!

The reason I am writing this blog about this is because yesterday when out with a good family friend and all our kids, he went to show me a photo on his phone and stopped dead and then apologised for saying the classic “look at this”

As the day went on he continued to say ” come look at this” again apologising after each time.

This unsettled me, not because he had said these things, because he was just saying the same things that we all say (me included) but that he felt anxious by the thought that he had upset me.

How perverted would it sound if I started saying “I’ll feel you later” ! Or my friends said to me, ” Come and touch this!” I know I would probably run in the opposite direction.

So, I will continue to tell my friends that I look forward to seeing them soon and do not want my friends to cringe or feel anxious when they say ” come look at this” or “have you seen this”

So, these are just typical English sayings and part of each and everyone of us.  I can’t talk for every VIP or people with other disabilities, but I doubt they would take offence either.

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27 May 2013
Blind Blog • Days Out

Walking in the woods

A gorgeous bright sunny bank holiday Monday is just what everyone wishes for.  Me too, but with bright sunny weather comes other issues For me.

Taking my son out to a great little play park in the Forest of Bere, this means that I can also free run my guide dog in the woodlands, she loves finding sticks and jumping in the streams and puddles.

Today as we got a lift up to the forest, it appeared that most families had had the same idea, there was nowhere to park, so a thankfully we were just getting dropped off.  But being a veteran of these woods I knew that this would be ok.

Walk just 10 minutes past the park and adventure playground and your have tranquility.

maybe the odd group of older children making a camp, oor the odd dedicated dog walker, but none of the families enjoying their picnics while the Kids play in the parks.

But although I know this area very well, but with the puppy out comes the long cane.  In an off road track this isn’t ideal, but its better than nothing.

As I said earlier, bright sunny cloudless day’s are a struggle.  For me this comes in stopping me from using my remaining sight, relying purely on light and dark and shadows and sounds.

Vicky free runs wearing a play collar, this collar has a bell on it the makes a noise every time she moves (fantastic when she disappears off into the woodland)

My son is a little chatterbox and loves to sing woodland songs, so with strategically dressed bright clothes that contrasts when he runs into the woodland too to find twigs & bugs. So I know where he is too.

But on brighter days my concentration to keep safer safe and be aware that I’m not smothering him in Cotton wool is exhausting.  Mix this with panics over shadows of the trees That are created by the sun above suddenly appearing out of no-where and its quite a tricky walk in comparison to doing it on a cloudy day.

I still enjoy it, but when we get home the dog isn’t the only one who is exhausted.

Would you be able to navigate around rough terrain if your vision was clouded so you could only see the light against dark or shadow?

I would love to experiment with a few friends, wrapping scarves around their face just to let the light in, but no view….

even if you read this, but don’t go that far, I hope this post has helped you understand seeing my way!

 

 

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01 May 2013
About Me • Blind Blog

Playground Whispers

When I was younger and at school myself I had my fair share of taunts in the playground, but as an adult with two children of my own I did not expect tobe subjected to such hurt yet again.

i am (or try to be) a strong women, but yesterday when taking my daughter to school it took ever ounce of courage to stand in the playground an wait until she had gone into her classroom.

As a mum with two children to get up and dressed in the morning, a dog to feed and walk before the school run, I am lucky if I get to grab a quick shower and a coffee, so I am dressed, presentable and my children are ready for the day ahead.

I have never been one to wear makeup on a daily basis, a dab of Vaseline on my lips is as good as it gets.  That is just part of who I am, it has nothing to do with my eye condition.

But apparently it has a much greater bearing on my life and my capabilities as a mum than I had ever imagined.

My inability to see the importance of wearing makeup lead to me being hurt and upset by two women who should only be described as playground bullies.

Because what I lack in sight I more than make up for in hearing.

Within my earshot they stood chatting about “my poor children” “the state my house must be in” ” no wonder my partner isn’t with me anymore” ” what must it be like to have sex, with someone like that” (me that is)

Even writing this post I find the tears welling up again.  I am me, a person, sight loss or no sight loss I have feelings and comments like this hurt, the most painful is my ability to look after my children.

I’m not a perfect parent, I don’t think such a thing exists, but I am a bloody good one.  This isn’t just my opinion, this is also the opinion of family, friends and teaching professionals that have all come into contact with me and my children.

My children are and always will be my first priority, now you see I am feeling that I need to justify myself, because of these comments.

i don’t is the simple answer.

Being a VIP means that I often do things in a different way to others and it is with this blog that I hope to explain this to others.

My reasoning for telling you about this incident is to make you aware that little off hand comments said like this can cause great upset and hurt, even questioning a persons abilities and it doesn’t stop when you finish school, it continues throughout life.

I walked home from the school grounds in tears, then spent hours questioning myself, none of which I needed to do, but I did.

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