Tag Archive for blurred vision

Jumping without a parachute …

Who needs a comfort zone anyway?  Last weekend I not only stepped out of mine, I jumped out of it without my parachute !!

Not even those closest to me may have even realised the inner turmoil I was battling with …… Fizz knew, she kept me calm, she kept me from falling apart and she kept me safe every time I needed her to put on her harness and be my eyes.

Any event/conference/summer spectacular is daunting for many!

A room with 2,000 other people is also terrifying in itself!

Then add to the mix you can only see shapes and colours; the lighting is set up as corporate and moves with the music; the music that is loud, pumped out around the room to ‘raise the roof’ to ‘motivate’ and to ‘excite’ EVERYONE in the room.

Having recently decided to stop ‘messing around with diets and fads’ and actual take control of my eating, my inner nutrients and my health, I looked to my cousin for support.  She introduced me to Herbalife, a safe, clean, nutrition fuelled way of eating, not a ‘diet product’ rather a way to live, a way to improve myself from the inside out, while being able to support me through training, rock climbing, bringing up my children and running around with each of my volunteer roles.

… Fast forward a few months and here I was, sat in Manchester, watching, learning and feeling empowered by The Herbalife Summer Spectacular.

The chosen venue was literally a large box!  A MASSIVE exhibition space that was broken up and segmented by heavy curtains, false walls and carpeting.

Having previously been to Manchester a few years ago, this didn’t concern me.  With the new Google Street View App on my phone I was able to walk around the outside of EventCity, I was able to find Starbucks, plan how to get from the hotel in MediaCity, again having visited the area before, I felt OK here.

I had a room-mate for the weekend, she absolutely adored Fizz and was wonderful, even volunteering to take her out for walks having never met either of us before.

…. Back to the venue…. I was invited to sit at the front of the room, an area reserved for those prestige members, an adjustment made just for me if it would help me see the event clearer.  Sadly no where I sat would have done that, so I stayed sat with my cousin and her friends.  Fizz was fabulous, she was so calm and took all the noises and light changes in her stride, not letting it bother her at all.

In the evening, we returned to EventCity for a dinner and awards ceremony.  I though I would be OK, I though that I now knew the venue and would be OK.  I had realised in the 2 hours that we had left the venue for, that the room had changed, the big round tables were still in place, but upon our return they were dressed in white linen cloths, fully dressed with red, white and blue balloons.  The large screens were in place also, but now decorated with the same colours, there was now also a checkered dance floor and the lighting was much dimmer.

Dressed to match the colours, as advised on the invitation I found a seat with my roomy and sat down to enjoy the show.  I had preordered drinks, that she kindly collected from the bar, we had a fabulous time, laughing, chatting and watching the awards ceremony; that saw my cousins husband won first prize of £10,000 !!!

The food was interesting and incredibly difficult….. Apparently it looked very pretty, but served on white plates with dim lights and light coloured food, it was a bit of a struggle for a VIP like me !

I survived though, my anxiety didn’t get the better of me, I had a pretty good time and I am now going to be giving away my inner turmoils of the weekend to those who were with me and will hopefully be reading this.


 

 

The sky is too bright

In true British fashion, we are forever complaining about the weather.  ‘It’s too cold’, ‘it’s too wet’ or when the sun is actually out…. ‘it’s too hot!’

Throw into the mix a visual impairment and then it becomes, ‘It’s too dark’, ‘it’s too grey’, ‘it’s too bright’, ‘it’s too cloudy’ or ‘there isn’t enough cloud Coverage!’

I most definitely fall into the latter category……… I am definitely best suited to a dull grey day or a blue sky (but only in the summer months, not the winter -then the sun is to low!!)

This is something I am finding to be an issue more and more of late.

While sat in a friends car yesterday I put the sun visor down, but on a jaunty angle.  The reason for this, wasn’t bright sunshine, rather a sky full of bright white clouds ready to turn black at any given moment and empty their content over those unfortunate enough not to be dressed for it!

My friend asked if I was ok? it was then that I realised I had never actually told anyone about these issues that I

So I started to explained it only it isn’t actually that easy to explain, because it is still pretty hard for me to understand and make sense of it myself.

By having a bright cloudy sky my eyes are drawn to it, I become like a magpie!  I can see the bright shiny, but then I find it hard to see anything else, not that I can see much!

So. By putting down the visor I block out the light,stopping myself being drawn to it and am able to try and focus on other things, like being able to see the colour of the car in front of us, or the shop and building colours?

Just more of the little things that are so insignificant to others, but are beginning to become more and more noticeable to me as I struggle to see them!

This is just s small hurdle I am to overcome before I can continue on my way.

Blind doesn’t mean I can’t see

A blurred image of a woman's eyes and the bridge of her nose.

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Statistically I am pretty insignificant

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Sun and Sandals

I can’t be the only person who thinks or worries about this, I am sure that it isn’t just something that fellow friends with a visual impairment can to relate too, but also those with half decent sight.

Here is my dilemma, with the sun, out comes the sunglasses…. No trouble there.  I have been wearing them throughout the winter anyway.  But with the warmer weather, out come the sandals.

And sandals mean just one thing….. Feet on show, more precisely.  Toes !!

I haven’t been able to see my feet for a long time.  I hate people touching my feet, so have never dare asked a friend to help.  Last year I only allowed my toes out in private, but not this year.  This year I want to let the sun kiss them.

So, I have come up with a way that I can give myself a pedicure and possibly even paint my toe nails (should the need arise-not that it has JUST yet)

Maybe it is using a piece of equipmemt designed to help those with sight issues to its extreme, but having recently received a (old to them) CCTV reader from a friend…..

I am now able to see my feet and toes for the first time in a long time, and thanks to my tv.

They are in high definition !!!!

 

 

Celebrating 2015 with a Fizz

Just before Christmas I had a call from guide dogs. The one I havd been waiting for for over a year.

“We think we have a match for you”

Excitment, hope, fear and absolute dread were some of the emotions that were stirred up.  An appointment was made and Fizz was due to come out to meet me with Jo the GDMI (guide dog mobility instructor)

Fabulius Fizz……

A beautiful black lab, crossed with a golden retriever…. With the shiniest smoothest coat I have ever known.

She is a speedy little lady, that took my breathe away for the first five minutes of our matching walk, but actually, she wasn’t walking any faster than I used to walk with Vicky five year as ago.  She was very easy to handle and we seemed to soon find a pace that worked well.  She was a little cheeky, paying too much attention to the area where we walked (but only as it was all new to her)

Jo walked behind us with a second lead so that she could take control of needed, but after 15 minutes she removed it, she kept us walking for a further 15 minutes.

Jo thought we were a good match.  Fizz is currently boarding (a foster home for guide dogs) with a family that are manic and the children are around the same age as my pair, she has settled well there having previously worked for a short time with a partner that decided for whatever reason, they didn’t wish to continue with Fizz.

Eek….. I felt the walk went really well, but was on tender hooks waiting for Jo to tell me what she thought.

Then it came….

“I think you worked beautifully together, if you agree (as I get to give my opinion too) I think this is the match for you and we should look at training dates and what the girls (Vicky & Fizz) think of each other”

So, a second meeting was arranged.  Where Vicky met Fizz up the road, they had a good ‘doggy’ sniff of each other.  Then Jo followed us home.

The girls got on like a house on fire.  They had a good romp around with school other.  Fizz took out each toy and several bones from the toy box, which Vicky didn’t bother with.  After this they both calmed down and laid together on the rug without a fuss.

 

So….. We are to train together, from home, not in a group class.

And we are due to start on Monday 19th January.

This is when Vicky will return her harness and be able to rest her paws and enjoy her time to stay home.

Which having worked with her over the Christmas period and since doing the walk with Fizz, I have realised just how much she has slowed and just how much she has had enough now.

 

So, in just over one week…… LET THE FUN BEGIN !!!

 

 

 

Manchester Madness

“It’s about time we met up for that coffee?’  a friend said several months ago.

All well and good, I do enjoy my coffee, but when the friend in question lives over 200 miles away, not so easy.

But who am I to let a 4 hour train journey stand in the way of catching up with an old friend and drinking coffee?

So, the planning began !!

Having spoken about it with friends (this end of the country) they suggested making a break of it, make it a city break to somewhere I haven’t been before, somewhere close to my friend.  So Manchester was decided upon.

Train from Southampton direct to Mancester Piccadilly.  Premier inn right in the heart of the city, booked.  My children were excited about the mini-break they would be having with the dad too… So, with times and dates put in place, me and google spent many hours together planning the time.  What to do, see, how to travel around and where to eat.

I can bore you with the details about me and technology, but that’s for a different post!

So, the day arrived.  A good friend agreed to get up rediculously early to drive me to the train station, my suitcase was packed along with the pooches essentials.

And off we went!

The train journey was made even more comfortable when a guard moved us to First Class so that he could make me a decent coffee.

By the time me and Vicky arrived in Manchester our plans had changed.  The ‘friend’ we were meeting wasn’t available on Saturday.

So, we were in this big, noisy, smelly city and no idea of what to do.

Firstly, we had to negotiate the trams…. Not using them, rather, walking on the path without being ran over by them…. Even Vicky struggled with the metal lines embedded in the concrete, her step was so gentle, like a small child trying not to step on the cracks.  It wasn’t easy.  But within a few attempts, she had the hang of it, sitting back from them as if they were a curb edge.  Then waiting for my command before walking on.

She was a star, an absolute star.

The hotel, being a premier inn, was very well concealed in a building line, with just a small sign and a single glass door with intercom to enter.  But with the helping arm or a stranger, we found it.

It was nice enough, exactly the same as any other premier inn and therefore perfectly familiar for me, regardless of  the distance from home.

The first walk after checking in was nerve-wrecking, where to go, what to do and where the hell was there some grass for Miss Vicky to do what she needed to do.

In went the headphones (just one ear) on went the Google map app and soon we were in Piccadilly Gardens sat in starbucks and watching the world go past.

By this point I was already tired out, especially my eyes.  I could feel the strain in them, but I didn’t travel all this way just to sit in a hotel room and ignore the city around me, so I started to plan!

Plan what I could do, where I could go and think of how I would cope if the coffee and catch up never happened.

Exhausted. Pained and feeling very vulnerable a dear friend answered their phone on the second ring, they calmed me down, they picked me up and they made me feel proud of what I had done so far, so if I did decide to spend the next three days in the hotel room, I hadn’t wasted my time, I hadn’t been stupid and I had faced a major hurdle for me.  After the pep talk, I decided it was time to do this, to be strong and enjoy my time, enjoythe being with me, enjoy knowing that regardless of where we were I was safe with my guiding girl by my side.  She wouldn’t let me down, no matter what.

…..

The coffee never did happen, but… The visit to The Lowry, The Imperial War Museum, The Blue Peter Garden, The big wheel and many more places did.

The downside of independance mixed with stubbornness like this, Is that when I did arrive back in southampton late on the Tuesday night I was so physically and mentally drained that I could hardly speak, let alone eat or even sleep.

It took five days for the eye strain to ease. For the headache to go and for the emotional wreck that was me to go away.

… … Now though, several months later as I write this (not feeling so raw) I realise that it was a massive thing for me and one that I can never forget.  In fact, it is a trip I hope to repeat, with my two wonderful children this time.  And we shall enjoy plenty of cake !!

 

The Struggle is easing, just a wee bit

So, having bad enough eyes that glasses no longer help other than when I am doing super close up work or reading is taking a lot of getting used to.

I can now leave the house without feeling that I am naked, after all I have been wearing glasses for the last 30 years, so they are kinda a big part of me.

This year though with the fabulous bright summer days I wasn’t actually leaving the house without glasses on, because for the first time I was wearing sunglasses, really nice wrap around sunglasses by Trespass, not fancy in anyway, but very comfortable.  In fact, I have been wearing my sunglasses this week as between the rain showers the sun has been blaring through the clouds.

It is interesting to ‘see’ (excuse the pun) how people treat me differently.  I haven’t been asked if I am a guide dog trainer once!  I have been offered more assistance than ever before and God knows I have needed it!

I have felt more vulnerable than ever, not even being able to see my friend that I know who is stood directly beside me.  I haven’t coped so well with dealing with the frustration that this has caused me.

 

My shopping habits have changed, I am no longer a bargain hunter in stores, nor have I bought any new clothes, it is so hard now. Much more harder than I imagined it would be.

More than I am happy to admit right now.

 

 

The Poster

Gherkin Blind Climb poster

Gherkin Blind Climb poster

Struggling with the change

Last month I got my routine 6 monthly eye test. My prescription has altered, which I knew before going to the opticians. I was struggling to see my phone, without holding it at the end of my nose and looking over the top of my glasses as I could no longer see close-up with them.

The change in my sight wasn’t a big change, but it was a significant one.

The way my eye condition is, with the strength of prescription that I need I can’t have near vision and long vision. I can have ‘reading glasses’ to see things that are close to me, like reading, seeing my children etc. Or I can have distance glasses and be able to watch tv or the kids playing around in the park. But I can’t see anything closer than my arm length away. If I didn’t suffer with LCA or Nystagmus I would be able to wear varifocals. But as I do, I can’t.

With my LCA I am now also unable to adjust easily to different light levels, meaning that I am also unable to adjust between two different prescription glasses, to go from distance to reading lenses.

So I had to make a choice…….

And I chose to see my children, large printed letters and the people that I love. Because on a bright sunny day, I wouldn’t see anyone even with distance lenses!

However, this time at the optician I received the news that I was very close to the limit of what they could do for me with prescription glasses. I am getting to the limit of a difference that having a prescription would make to me.

The other issue I had, is that although my eye’s have only changed ever so slightly in the last six months, it has actually been over two years of ‘ever so slight changes’ since I have been in a position to purchase a new pair of glasses, because before I have even chosen pretty frames, the lenses themselves are in the region of £280 (after allowances)

So, having the money to spend, I bought a new prescription and the frames to sit them in. Two weeks to make them, and additional £100 to reduce the thickness from 9mm to 3mm, I got my new glasses……

And all the ‘slight changes’ have added up to one hell of a dramatic change.

A change that means that on a bright sunny day, I am better protecting my remaining sight with a pair of non-prescription sunglasses than wearing my actual prescription.

My new prescription, although strong for me. Is in-fact the equivalent of a reading glass prescription in the amount of difference that it makes, especially with my distance vision.

So for the first time since I was about 4, I am getting used to not wearing glasses full time. An issue that I am struggling with just a bit.

When I am outside in the glorious sunshine that we are experiencing at the moment, I am comfortable and confident wearing my new sunglasses, but inside is a different story.

At home, right now as I write this I am wearing my glasses, when I at meetings I am wearing my glasses, but when I am in the gym or on the climbing wall, I do not wear my glasses.

And it is not a look or feel that I am getting used to…… Just Yet!

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