Tag Archive for accessibility

Not such a relaxing coffee

It has taken me some time to sit down and write this post, (nearly 5 months in fact) as it is hard for me to recall the events without sadness and upset, rather than anger and bitterness.

I am a very easy going kinda gal, I do not see myself as someone who carries a chip on my shoulder because I have an eye condition. I also feel that I am open to alternative perceptions and don’t make the automatic assumption that every person that I come into contact with is aware of sight loss or how to interact with a guide dog. After all, why would they?

I have been into places where the staff or members of the public are not aware of the regulations regarding a guide dog, I am more than happy in such situations to calmly and politely explain the law regarding working dogs.

Just because a member of staff is unaware of the regulations is not their fault, the staff in question are usually very willing to listen to my explanation and then help me with my requirements.

There have been occasions where staff are not aware of the regulations and are not prepared to listen, in these instances (thankfully few and far between) I make contact with my local guide dog office, who are more than happy to contact the staff and explain things to them.

However, the incident in question was not one of lack of awareness, it was one of personal attitude coming forward into a professional role. Something that having worked within retail for most of my career is a major ‘no no’

And for that reason, I hope that you understand why this has caused me such upset.

Having spent the morning doing some shopping in my local town, both me and the pooch were tired out and in need of refreshment. So I stopped at a coffee shop, where I could feed my caffeine addiction and allow my guide dog to rest her paws with a nice bowl of water.

Upon entering the cafe, a member of staff approached me and showed me to a table right by the door. I thought nothing of this as the interior of the cafe was quite dark in comparison to the bright sunshine of outside, so it gave me time to settle myslef and allow my eye’s to adjust to the difference in light levels.

Although a bright day, it was very chilly and on removing my coat I realised that the table was in a direct draught from the door, so having adjusted to the light levels I got up to move to a table further within the cafe, as there were several empty tables dotted around.

On moving to a different table, a member of staff came upto me and told me to stay where he had seated me and he would come to me, so I explained that I was moving out of the draught. This was when the ‘politeness’ ended.

He said that I needed to sit where he had put me because of my dog, so I calmly explained that she was a working dong and allowed. I explained that I didn’t wish to sit in the draught, so he said that I could sit at a table at the very back of the cafe. When I asked him why I couldn’t sit at the table I thought was more than suitable, as it had ample room underneath for my guide dog. The member of staff then explained that he did not want my dog to bite or upset the other customers.

Again, calmly I explained that she was a working dog and as such would sit quietly under the table away from anyone else.

That was when the member of staff told me that he was aware of the rules regarding “my dog” but if I wanted to be in the cafe then I would sit where he put me.

At this point, I was struggling to contain my upset and explained that I would not be placed where he saw fit, I explained that as a visually impaired person, my guide dog was my mobility aid and that I felt that he was discriminating against me because of her. He told me that me insisting on having my dog in the cafe was causing great upset to the other customers, who he felt would leave were I to stay and continue to cause a ‘scene’.

I informed him that because of his attitude I would not be staying in the cafe and that he had lost potential business. I bit back the tears as I spoke. As I felt humiliated and forced to leave through no fault of my own.

At this point a man who had witnessed the events stood up and offered to take me to the near by Costa, as he and his family were disgusted by the way in which I had been treated and would no longer stay in the cafe.

I had heard several other murmurs as I was leaving. I did not take the man and his family up on their offer, I just wanted to get away. So I walked for a little while before contacting my local guide dog team and explaining the situation to them.

The member of staff I spoke with in the office was very kind and understood my upset and was able to understand what I was saying despite my sobs on the telephone. She assured me that she would pass the matter on to the public relations officer and that she would be in contact with me.

My local guide dog team were fabulous and got in contact with the cafe in question straight away, but not before they had received two further phone calls by concerned members of the public that had witnessed my ordeal.

After writing a very strong worded letter, the guide dog team received no reply or comment from the cafe.

It was over a month later when two friends, along with their guide dogs went into the cafe for a spot of lunch, that they were privy to wonderful service and staff that were more than helpful to each of their needs.

So, I took it that the cafe or in particular the member of staff that I had encountered had learnt from the letter they had received. That I bit the bullet and went back in, this time I couldn’t face going alone, so took a friend and my son.

The service was fabulous, but I could not relax, I found myself listening to each of the staff members to hear if I could recognise the member of staff that I had previously had the misfortune of speaking with.

I was not relaxed, nor did I feel that I was being fair on my son or friend as I was ‘on edge’ so we drank our drinks and left.

I do not feel that I will be able to return to the cafe in question again.

When the guide dog became the attraction at the zoo


My guide dog is often admired when we are out and about.  Many people are surprised when they see a dog in an inside environment, such as a shopping centre or cinema.  But people appear much more surprised when they meet us at somewhere like a theme park.

As it’s the Easter weekend I got the opportunity to go to Drayton Manor to visit Thomas Land with my little boy.  We had a fabulous time in the park, lots of rides and my GD Vicky enjoyed all the fussing she was getting while we waited in line for our turn.

She didn’t go on any of the rides with us, she stayed with one of our party so that I had her to guide me, but didn’t have to miss out on the fun and thrills of the rides.

Drayton Manor have their own zoo with a collection of owls, monkeys and a black leopard.

Having phoned ahead of our visit, I had spoken with one of the keepers and they were happy for my GD to go into the zoo area, with the provision that if she of the animals appearedto be distressed I was to walk away.

There were numerous zoo staff around the zoo who were very happy to see us and help explain what was in the enclosures.

The monkeys were the first to spot Vicky.

They were very interested and intreaged by her.  They came up to the bars on their cage to see her.

Photo 19-04-2014 13 48 51

Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43Then there was black leopard, she came right up to see Vicky, yet she wasn’t stressed or showing any aggression, just interest.

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And then there was the gibbons, they wanted to play, they were chatting away to Vicky and she in return was making noises to them too.  But again, with a zoo keeper on hand, I was reassured that this was friendly chatter that they often sharedamongst themselves during play times.

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Photo 19-04-2014 14 02 43I was able to get some lovely pictures of the animals in the zoo, so once home I could actually sit down and look through the pictures with my son and he was telling me about what he thought of when he had seen the animals.  For me, seeing animals when visiting the zoo with my children is not something that I get to do very often.

It is only in more recent years that zoo’s have allowed guide dogs and other assistance dogs into the grounds, with many restrictions for the safety of the animals and the dogs.  With Vicky by my side, both me and my son were able to have a much closer encounter to the animals than we had ever thought possible.

A Gem Lettuce of a Find

As A woman who has suffered from my ‘over-indulgences’ with food, I am tackling my life with a healthy eating attitude to food in addition to getting fitter. Like many who have suffered with depression, I let myself go and used ‘rubbish food’ as my crutch to make me happy…… And guess what? It didn’t work!

Anyway, now I am an active member of my local Slimming World group. With a fabulous consultant in Liz, who is herself on the slimming world journey. She has great snippets of information and ideas to help us all alone.

A few weeks ago, whilst in group, we were talking about how time consuming it is to make and prepare home-made chips. A member in the group admitted that she didn’t have the time for the ‘faffing about’, this was when Liz told us of a local greengrocers that sold pre-cut potatoes for chips.

As a VIP, it has been a very long time since I have had proper ‘home-made’ chips, as although I can peel a potato, slicing it for chips is far beyond me, without the risk if injury that is!!

So, off I went to a nearby Stubbington village to The Fruit Basket…..

WOW! it was a beautifully laid out store, clearly arranged by fruit, core veg, salad, root veg and a lovely selection of miniature veg. Then there was the fridge with the milk and next to that the largest selection of ‘fresh’ pre-prepared fruit and veg.

Not like the bags in the supermarkets, but simply washed, peeled and cut assortments of goodies.

Unfortunately, no pre-cut potatoes for chips.

They did have, peeled and cut potatoes, onions, (which I haven’t cooked with in years) carrots, squash and swede to name just a few of the bit I picked up. And at very reasonable prices with an offer of 4 bags for the price of 3 I was sold.

This in addition to fruit I had picked up, which I must say is still fresh over 2 weeks later (unlike my last fruit/veg shop from the supermarket)

I was a very happy bunny, with a large bag of fresh, healthy foods. That when I got home, I felt it was only right for me to contact the company to tell them how helpful I had found them.

They have 2 shops in my local area and their warehouse is based within Gosport where they supply many local restaurants and catering companies…. Which I why they are able to offer the freshly prepared fruit and veg within their shops to the general public.

So off went my email, I commented on how accessible the pre-prepared range was to me and would enable me to be more independent with my cooking and more adventurous with what I ate (to be honest if I couldn’t cut it or de-seed it easily, I often wouldn’t bother.) I also mentioned about the chips, especially as my Slimming World consultant had mentioned it to a room full of about 45 men and women.

This was the reply I got…….

Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your email.
Glad to hear our prep fruit & veg is useful to you.
We stopped selling the chips due to lack of demand, but we would love to give them another go and see if there is any improvement.
Our prep team will start preparing them in the next few days, so hopefully you will see them in the shop by the end of the week!
Many thanks
Jenni

And true to their word, I went back on Monday this week and there they were….. Bags of big chunky chips.

All I did was par-boil them, then popped them in the oven with a light coating of ‘fry-light’ and salt……. They were delicious and went down a treat with the kids too (which is always a bonus!)

The Fruit basket will be my regular stop for my fruit and veg needs, you get what you pay for and in saying that, as I have actually found them better value for money than my local supermarket.

Scaling a Mountain.

It has been a busy few weeks and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath or update you all on what has been going on in the world of Tee.

After months, months and months of putting it off, I booked myself on a new course to really test my ability to do something that you wouldn’t usually find a VI doing. I did a taster course in rock climbing.

I know, many have questioned me “why rock climbing?’
The answer is simple. Since loosing my sight I have also lost my fear of heights.

So in answer to them, “Why not?’

I have a friend who introduced me to it, a few years ago when he spoke of how he used to climb, but as his climbing partner had moved away and life had got away with him, he hadn’t been.

So, booked the course and off we went to Calshot, a fabulous climbing (among other things) facility.

Yellow indoor climbing wall with multiple coloured climbings holds and the centres logo "Calshot Activity Centre" written in black across the middle of the wall.

Unfortunately, like many great places, it is a 60 mile round trip. But definitely worth the trip. But as you can see from the images, they have some wonderful climbs.

I was incredibly nervous. More so, when we arrived and I was the only girl doing the course. Other than my friend, the seven other men were on a work night out. My nerves were soon settled by the course instructor Adam.

Upon completing the online booking form for the course, I had detailed my visual impairment, so Adam was prepared. He was happy to take his time with me to feel and understand the harness before I put it on. He explained that he had never worked with a visually impaired climber before, so if I needed more help or even less, to just be honest with him, so that he can ensure me the best possible experience whilst being safe.

Pan view of Calshot climbing walls.  Shows several of the centres climbing walls, each of which is in a different colour, with multiple coloured climbing holds.  The yellow at the far right of the image has a person climbing half way up to the top.

We all went out to the first wall after we had put our harnesses on, ready to start our experience. As their was nine on the course, we were put into groups of three’s. That gave each team a climber, a belay and an anchor, giving each of us the opportunity to have several goes within each role.

It is hard for me to put into words how it felt the first time I started to climb. It was a mixture of nerves, panic, strain and probably the biggest dose of adrenaline I have felt in an incredibly long time.

Having had the opportunity to belay before I climbed, the concern I had about someone holding my weight was quashed. The guy I belayed was quite tall and heavier than me, but when I was helping guide him down, he didn’t feel it. (I am a girl after all and weight it always a concern, one that doesn’t decrease as my sight does!)

So, standing in front of the wall (the blue wall shown in the photograph above) and looking at it in such closeness.

I froze.

I literally hit a wall.

I could see the blue of the wall, but I could only make out the occasional climbing holds, which all seemed to be much further away than my hands and feet could reach.  So I started, reaching first with my hands and hap-hazardly with my feet, but I was on my way, very slowly.  This was where Simon came in, he started to explain to me where I could move, simple instructions like “left foot left knee’  but it was enough… It meant that although I couldn’t see the holds by my feet or even my feet for that matter, I could see my hands and where they could go, with the explanations from the ground I made it about half way, before fear and emotion kicked in.

Once getting back on the ground and speaking with Simon and Adam, they explained that often the belayer will give such instructions from the ground to the climber, regardless of skill.  As it was often easier to see a hold from the ground.

After we had all had a chance to scale this wall, we were taken to a different wall, this was where Adam showed his concern for my sight and my ability.  As he had moved us to a wall that had an over-hang on it, which he was concerned that if I were to climb it, I may hit my head.  So he placed my team on a wall slightly away from the main group.  To a yellow wall, that went straight up.

The yellow was easier to see the holds on (well most of them) as the lighting on this side of the centre was clearer too.

I could go on and on about what it was like to climb this wall, but I’m not here to bore you.

After we had climbed, we went back to the team room to de-harness and this was when after the others had left, I was able to have a very honest conversation with Adam and Simon.  Adam was already able to see that I had ‘caught the bug’ and he was so kind as to talk me through different harnesses, climbing shoes and different options for learning to climb.

As we were leaving, he even gave me my own piece of 10mm rope so that I could learn to make a ‘figure of 8’ and practice it in preparation for taking part in the induction training course.

So, my new love affair began…..

That was six weeks ago now!!  My induction course is booked for April, but in the meantime I have been climbing pretty much every week as Simon’s guest at the climbing wall.

(But that is another post….)

Technology Sees’ Everything

I would say that I am a tech reliant vip. The reason for this is because I don’t go anywhere without my iPhone, iPad and headphones. No I am not an apple geek, but I am reliant on google maps, street view and up to the minute travel planning such as ‘Travel line’, ‘National Rail’ and even local weather, all of which have fabulous little app’s.

When travelling somewhere new, I am meticulous at planning my route, my first port of call is The Travel Line, where all I need to do is put in a start and end point. I can even put the time I either want to leave, or arrive by. It will then come up with a list of travel options for me that include walking, buses, ferries, coaches and trains. This is where I can ‘tweak’ it to my preferences, for example, I can put the maximum time I am happy to walk between other transport. I can even view the route on a map, which is animated to show me through the whole trip, with icons for walking, buses, ferries and trains. Which I can zoom in on the work out.

If I am travelling by train, I can then check up on all the information that I need via the National Rail app. The reason I check this too, is because it will break the information down even further. It will list each of the stops that the train will make, it will also tell me which platform the train departs from and arrives on…. This is particularly handy if I need to change trains at a station, as I can navigate much more by myself without additional assistance. (although if I need it, I will ask for help from the station staff)

I will plan my route from home and then take ‘screen shots’ of the information or even save the travel details to my calendar, just incase I have no internet access via wifi or 3g on my travels.

When planning my route, lines on a map do nothing for me. So I am an avid fan of googles ‘street view’ this enables me to visualise the route from a bus stop, along a walk or even find short cuts, that the route planners may not show.

This is of course only as good as the information that has been recorded, for example if I street view my own house, I see the driveway in its old position, not it’s actually how it is now.

But as the map navigation is continually updated, I (as yet) haven’t become completely stuck because of it.

An example of this was earlier this week, when I had to visit the Southampton offices for Guide Dogs. An office that is a ‘tad’ out of the way for guide dog owners.

So I planned my route at home, based on the time that I needed to arrive, then to allow for delays, followed the details for the slightly earlier journey.

Which in this instant was needed.

Having navigated to the train station and from there to the bus stop needed in southampton, I even asked for assistant from the people at the stop with me, to help with the bus I needed. As a major calling point all of the other buses that came to the stop all pulled in. My bus didn’t and the person who said they would help me, did help, but only to tell me that the bus had driven straight past!

So, out came my phone to check the time of the next bus from the stop I was at…. And it wouldn’t be for another hour. So the Costa next to the stop enabled me to piggyback on wifi (as it is faster than 3g, which I would have used if no wifi was available)

Thankfully, there was another bus that would take me to Chilworth where the office is situated. It was however, 15 minutes walk from where I was, in an area of Southampton that I wasn’t familiar with. So, out came the headphones and on when google maps.

I was able to navigate and instruct Vicky my guide dog without having to look at my phone at all.

I have ‘over ear’ headphones so that I can comfortably listen to information that I need, and have one ear free to hear my surroundings. Plus I have never been a fan of in-ear as I find them too good at noise cancelling and also, quite uncomfortable as my ears are quite sensitive.

So, with my bit of tech I was able to find my way to the other bus. Once getting on, having double checked the number and that it stopped where I wanted imagine my surprise and relief when the driver said ” my bus has audio, so you will know when we are approaching your stop.”

There is an Eclipse route between Fareham and Gosport that has audio on it, just like you get only trains! But I wasn’t aware of other services or even other bus companies were using it.

So instead of having to rely on my iPhone and it’s apps, I would just sit back, relax and listen for my destination.

Audio announcements on buses is a major plus for many people, not just us VIPs, it works for people who are unfamiliar to the area or those travelling in the dark. Because, unlike trains you can’t count the stops on a bus as the bus does t always stop!!

So, with the help of all this tech I am able to gain even greater independence, without having to fully rely on others, I can also use public transport instead of more expensive taxis thanks to free apps that are available for smartphone and iPhone users alike.

 

 

 

 

Inquizative Cubs

Having a friend that is a cub leader I was invited by him to speak to his cub group about my sight, having a guide dog and help them to understand that people have differences in how they communicate and see the world.

I have done talks before about having and using a guide dog, I have even visited my daughters school to explain about Vicky and as the age of the children increased, the questions moved away from guide dogs and included things like “how do you see your mouth to put food in it?” “How do you see your bottom to wipe it when you’ve been to the loo?” (Which horrified the teacher. Thankfully not me.

So, I started my talk explaining about Vicky, what she did for me, how to react when you see someone with a guide dog, the usual awareness type talk. I then went on to explain about ‘being blind’ and what I couldn’t see rather than what I can’t, after all as I always explain about my sight, I don’t know what I can’t see.

With the help of an app on my iPad that shoes an example of what it is to see with particular eye conditions I was able to show them what a picture looks like for me.

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They say apicturespeaks a thousand words. Would you agree?

VisionSim of Family Plaque Family plaque by Charming Little Home

Above on the left is how I see (without the blackness or red ring) on the right is the actual photograph. With the cubs I did this by taking an image of their cub leader, they were all amazed by it.

The cubs were fantastic, they asked lots of questions including how my guide dog guides me, so by splitting the group up to make a corridor, leaving one child sitting in the middle of it, I showed them.

Vicky walked me along and when she came to the obstacle (the child) she stopped and stood, she ignored the child. I gave her the command to walk on, but as there was no space for us to do that she sat down. I asked her to find the way and she turned me around and walked around the children instead.

I went on to talk about Braille and allowed the children to see an example of this. Again this bought up many questions.

My talk lasted over 40 minutes, but the cubs sat happily listening and asking questions. Speaking with the leader afterwards he told me that he had never seen them so enthusiastic about listening and learning before.

I got a lot out of my talk with the cubs, I just hope that they did to.

It’s all about perception

Tonight when popping onto Facebook and catching up with my friends news a fellow ‘blindie’ posted about the trouble they had had when booking a table for a family dinner, when doing so she informed them about her guide dog that would be joining them.

She put up on Facebook that they would not recommend her bringing her guide dog is she could leave it home guide dog.

Having eaten at the restaurant before it is a tiny place, not that it is overcrowded, just small. When I ate there it was for a family celebration and as I was going to be enjoying the wine I left my trusted pooch home.

When in the restaurant, the waiters seemed to be struggling to move around the tables as all of the tables were occupied. The tables themselves were quite small especially considering the fact the meals included so many dishes per person.

I am maybe the one who is the devils advocate here, but I do try to look at both sides. To clarify I wasn’t part of the phone conversation, so can only comment on what has been posted on Facebook.

My friend who I shall call Bee says that when booking the table the person she spoke with was very rude.

As a guide dog owner I too have been on the receiving end of rudeness or in most cases, lack of understanding. It is surprising how many people, especially shop and restaurant owners aren’t aware that guide dogs and other assistants dogs are cleared by environmental health to enter their premises.

Bee felt that the restaurant were very rude and is asking guide his team to get involved because if the situation.

But is it real rudeness?

Is it a language barrier? On the telephone voices and accents can sound rude, when they are not understood or heard in the correct context.

Or is it something deeper?

Is it that as someone who is often discriminated against starts off on the back foot?

For those that have faced discrimination or difference just like me become overly defensive and instead of being assertive, form aggression toward certain subjects ?

As the post suggests, it’s all in the perception!!

If you read a Facebook status that a guide dog had been refused entry into a restaurant because of their guide dog. How would you respond?

Learning to forget to look…., Not ready for that yet!

Although I am registered as ‘blind’ I do have some sight, all be it distance vision that doesn’t even get me the top line on the eye chart and central vision with a peripheral of less than 10%, a figure that has recently reduced by 17%…. Feel free to do the math on that! To me it means just one thing

“my remaining sight is deteriating and quicker that I really would like”

Making the most of my remaining sight is key, and by actually using my eyes I am causing no harm, nor am I strengthening them. The deterioration of my retina is uncontrolled and unmapped.

So, by now you may feel confused by the title of this latest blog, well let me explain. As my sight has deteriorated, my eye’s and the period for which I can use them to concentrate on anything has reduced dramatically. In theory anyway, I say this, because I can still spend hours watching a really good film, of which without the aid of audio descript I miss a large percentage of it.

But for this I suffer.

As my eyes tire from the concentration, they in fact become dry, and difficult to close without seeing vivid flashing images on my eyelids.

As I said above, having missed a large percentage of a film, I now rely fully on Audio Descript and do not strain or even try to see what is actually happening on the screen. This has given me back my love of the cinema in recent months, so that is a bonus!

But there is one part of my life that I can’t stop over concentrating on and overworking my eyes, that is my phone, my laptop and my iPad. All of which have fabulous built in accessible software, after all Steve Jobs insisted that technology was assessable to all, not as an after thought, but as part of its design, hence why all my tech is Apple…. That and the fact that originally my training before my sight loss was in Design and if it was design, it HAD TO BE Apple.

Anywho, I digress. I have dragon and Siri that enable me to speak to my tech for it to then type my words. I have magnification, I even have voice over. And yes for you techno-phobes, it even works on touch screen. Even more so since the IOS 7 update!

But the thing is….

I have SOME vision and I can’t help but use it.

I can touch type and thankfully have been able to do this from a very young age (I think I was about 8) so I don’t have to look at the keyboard or technically the screen either, but I do like to proof read what I have written, especially when it comes to emails, letters and more recently college assignments.

It is a college assignment that has in fact lead me to write about this. You see, it is currently 4.15am on a Monday morning, having been working on my latest assignment that is due in at 9am THIS MORNING. I am now not able to sleep, even though it would be a really good idea if I could as I have a 4 hour lecture and a gym class later today too!

The question you are probably asking right now as you read that last paragraph, is what the….? Yes, I did leave this assignment a little later than others, but actually that isn’t the reason why I am up so late with it.

The REAL reason I was working on it so late, was because of my wish to see what I am doing and the light levels. You see even with the daylight lamp on, if it is too dark in the rest of the room, I struggle greatly to focus on all of my work, as the light level varies from that under the lamp to the rest of the room.

With the darker evenings (which in fact cause the darker days) I am able to sit down with a suitable light that illuminates the whole room at about 6pm.

This is slap bang in the middle of feeding time at my zoo, then comes baths, books and cuddles before bed for my 2 little monsters. So that 6pm soon becomes 8pm and I’m sure you can see where I am going from here?

I have tried and tested myself with this, so that I can understand what I can do without suffering and what I can’t achieve without the suffering.

The short answer is not much.

Once I hit 2.5 – 3 hours thats it, I can look at spending at least that again letting my eyes settle down. The good news is that if I extend that to 5 hours, that doesn’t increase the ‘down time’ that I need.

So, to save my sanity, especially in the winter months I need to start to stop looking.

But its hard, emotionally more than anything….. The reason is because, one day I wont ACTUALLY be able to see it, so while I can why shouldn’t I?

If your sight were or if your sight is deteriating would you want to stop seeing all the things you can see now knowing that in the future you will have no choice but not to see them?

This is a tricky argument that I have had with a few people, you see the one point I struggle with is that apart from the lack of sleep, I am not causing myself any harm, I am certainly not causing my eye’s damage.

This I have checked, double checked and yes, you got it TRIPLE CHECKED!!

It sounded so simple…. Then you put me in the mix!

As well as blogging I keep up to date with friends and family via my Facebook account, the other day after what had started out as a fun conversation I put myself on the line and admitted to having been forced to admit that I had a limitation.

Yes…. I hear you all say, everyone does.  But this limitation wasn’t even something I had ever considered before, or even wanted to do.  And in the grand scheme of life is very unimportant and changes nothing.  But I started to bother me.

I thought the easiest way for you to see what I am talking about is to copy the post in below, including the comments.  As to protect the identity of my friends I have re-written the post and named them F1, F2 etc, etc.

I would be interested to follow on this conversation further, so feel free to comment yourself underneath on here.

THE STATUS:    An honest conversation with a trusted friend has made me realise that with my sight, there are some things I just won’t ever do….. Some I can get around, fudge through in a different way with help & support.  But today the realisation that there is something I won’t ever do, silly thing is that its only a small thing too…. But feeling 🙁

 

ME:  And it wasn’t even anything I though would bother me, it’s the realisation of limitation not the thing I can’t do.  Even my stubborn streak won’t get me through this one.

F1:  You will get through it hun!  Been there – spend some time wallowing in self pity and then equally important pick yourself up and get on with what you CAN do!

ME:  I know-its the kids, home, college, work is all that matters, but it’t limitations of not being able to do something so very simple for others——-even a small child can do it!

F1:  Yep!  Let yourself spend some time feeling sad, don’t try and ignore it.  Have a bath, get in you pj’s and bring out the chocolate!

F2:  If you don’t mind me asking, what is it?

ME:  Its very silly and ridiculous…….. Juggling!!!    Having looked after Miss Key the other evening while Mst Key & Simon Key did a juggling with scouts.  Mst Key came back telling how great it was & how his dad could teach anyone to do it, it never interested me, bit it set the challenge & the thinking cogs working.  So had a good talk about it & the answer was NO… I need to be able to follow the movement, although I do have some vision.  I have no ability to judge distance or quick movement.

Its not the juggling that is the issue, its the fact that it points out a limitation.  For example, I am not allowed to drive a car (legally) & have a driving license.  But  I can physically drive a car, on private property with the right support.  I know how to do it & can do it.  Its a silly thing, but its these little bits for me that stand out as a limitation.  That having discussed the options of making it accessible isn’t there, if I wish I could play blind football, blind cricket, if I so desired, silly isn’t it?

F2:  I don’t see why you can’t try??  Think of how much fun it would be.  Just make sure you use soft balls so not to knock anyone out though! 🙂  Nothing is impossible, we place on ourselves our own limitations so if you say you can’t then you won’t, if you say to hell with it I am going to have a go…. then you have got nothing to lose and if you prove yourself right they you can say hell at least I tried!!

F3:  I think the thing is that you have to have a base to start with.  If you know that it is something that might be nearly impossible to do before you start, then if you still want to try then you don’t set your hopes up too high.  The bonus is that i you did achieve it then it would make it all the more special. let me have a think, I’m sure Mst Key is right.  He tells me enough that he is 🙂

F2:  Nearly impossible! See not impossible at all 🙂

F3:  just have to be realistic.  Thats all I’m saying, what the hell, I have been learning 5 for 6 years !!!!

F2:  There is being realistic though and shattering poor Theresa’s juggling dreams.  I anyone can you can Mr Key 🙂 xx

ME:  Oh dear, what have I started?  It’s not the juggling that is the point here.

F3:  Well it kind of is and isn’t.  I think the point is that you wont know what you can and can’t do till you try……

F2:  Excellent!  I look forward to hearing your juggling tales Theresa and Mr Key.

ME:  It’s got taken all out of context, I don’t really want to juggle.  I hate the word ‘Can’t’ I know what you meant when you explained it, no it’s not impossible, bit it just highlights the fact that I can’t just grab a set of balls & get going.  You said yourself that you need to think about how!  It’s something highly skilled when you get to your level, but at the same time it’s very basic and simple at the start point.  And I can’t just get on and have a go.  This sees me start thinking & analysing other things I can do or can’t do & the spiral starts & thats why it was never about the actually juggling… Hence why I never put it in the start of this post!  I appreciate the support & kind words from you all.  I’m not as has been suggested (by pm) fishing for sympathy or compliments on what I can do or try.  I wrote this because it was how I was feeling & at that very same moment on looking at Facebook it just felt right to put into words, stop it just being in my head & driving me even more crazy!

F3:  Nope no taking it back now lol.

F2:  Nope, you can’t back out now.  Learn to juggle woman then you can pass your juggling wisdom to me 🙂

_____________________________________________________________

It makes for this being a rather long blog, but I hope it gives you an idea of my thoughts.  Juggling isn’t the issue for me, its not even something like I said earlier that is of great interest.  It merely highlights that for me to do some things, I need to set myself up in a very different way than others.  Have to alter the way in which I do things.  My friends were being helpful with their comments, I am always open to constructive criticism.

I grew up not seeing myself differently to others, but now I do…… I feel so very different.

And this is the point.

Child’s Play

Today while at a friends house, their son was happily, quietly playing with Lego to make a old world village, I asked him if he would mind if I could build something with him.

He kindly asked if I needed him to help me as the parts where quite small and I may not see them, then he quickly told me that with Lego I didn’t need to see it, as I could just count the bumps on the top to feel how big and what shape the pieces are.

He then suggested that I built a church for his village. I asked him about the colours of the Lego as with them being so small I couldn’t see them and I was worried that it would be funny colours.

To which he simply answered ‘It doesn’t matter about the colours that’s the fun of Lego, the whole village can be all different colours and it doesn’t matter’

This bought back huge childhood memories for me, as a child me and my sister had built a huge pirate ship, it was built with whatever bricks we could find and was a giant rainbow.

Sometimes I think that as adults we aim for perfection too often, well I do anyway. Where as with kids it’s the fun of building and the game, not what you end up with in the end.

And also that as a grown woman I am never too old to sit down with a box of Lego and just build, sight or no sight as it is one of the first and still the most tactile toy available!!!

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